this man. this man has always been some kind of amazing. watching him as a dad over the past few months has been the most incredible experience. he is kind, patient, helpful, funny and will do anything for this little girl of ours. mila sure is lucky to have a dad like him and i sure am lucky to have a partner like him in this crazy parenting journey.

happy father's day to all the papas out there but a special one to you handsome. there is no one who can make this little girl laugh as easy or as much as you can. the relationship between you two is something i could sit back and watch all day long. thank you for being the great father you are!

a little update - our first home!

i haven't posted in a bit but there are good reasons i promise; we bought our first house, ahhh!! it is something jay and i worked pretty hard for and are happy to have made it work without sacrificing our love for city life. i haven't posted any pictures because frankly there are boxes and paint cans and contractor tools in every corner of every room. i thank god mila isn't fully mobile yet and is in a somewhat 'cuddly want to be held a lot' stage. 

the move process has been a tiring one for all of us but for different reasons. everyone's schedules have been fully thrown and i don't know how we had packed away so much stuff in that tiny apartment of ours. but we managed to get it all packed and moved over the course of a month and with help from some amazing family members. 

it was a bittersweet move and i'll admit, i cried, i usually do when an old chapter closes and a new one begins. i'm a sap, there i said it. 

jay and i moved to that complex after we got married. it was our first place in the city. we lived in the first floor apartment then moved one floor up to score a private balcony a few years later. i wrote a little post here when we made the move because i was pretty excited about the charm that apartment had compared to the one below it. while we were finishing up cleaning the last day i saw mila playing ever so contently with just her soother in our old living room and that's when all the tears started. there are a lot of memories wrapped up in that place that i'll always be fond of.

we have been spending most of our days making sense of endless boxes or giving the contractors some space to work freely. i mean how can you ask someone to drill quietly? most of our days consist of day trips to the hardware store but last week mila and i had ourselves a little date at the royal ontario museum. dinosaur bones are way more fun than hardware aisles.

since moving i have been craving new designs with fresh looks and seem to be falling more and more in love with all mid century modern designs. it really is the perfect mix of old and new, simple but bold, and structured but cozy. now to figure out how to get the look on a budget...

in the kitchen

it is a 2014 goal of mine to cook more at home in hopes of learning quick, easy, go to meals that can be fun for kiddos later on. between jay and myself, jay has always been the master chef. he comes from a family of amazing cooks who turn out a five star family dinner like it was nothing. my version of an incredible dinner usually consisted of peeling a potato, that meant effort. after years of feeling inspired by jay's family, and then relinquishing any hope of getting to their level of expertise, and then feeling inspired again, and then copying their recipes one by one, burning some and succeeding at others, i decided it was time to figure out this home cooking for myself. intro, homemade pizza!

i decided to start with pizza because when jay and i first started dating we (more he) would make pizza on special date nights which always seemed like a treat. he made the dough and i would usually grate cheese and sous chef whatever else we were putting on it. i also worked in a pizza shop as a teenager and hoped some long lost experience there would help me out. so far, it's going pretty great! we have had pizza about once a week at this point because i am so proud of my new found ability. eventually we will need to curve this healthier options, but for now pizza once a week is pretty great in my books. especially because i can confidently make dough rise on the first try. this was no small feat in itself, let me tell you.

you can find the dough recipe i used here on epicurious. i like to add some basil and garlic to the dry mixture for a little something extra. if you like pizza (and who doesn't really?) then for sure give it a go! it's easy, it's fun and oddly therapeutic when you get to it. 

family

last weekend a friend of ours, teddy chau came over and took a few shots of our little family. we are in love with all of the photos he took and happy mila complied with wearing a dress for as long as she did. if you look closely you will see layer by layer, some article of clothing came off. by the end, she was in a diaper and onesie.

thank you teddy so very much for these, we will treasure these forever!

happy holidays

yesterday i posted a photo to instagram that jay emailed me of his fun afternoon with mila while i was at brunch with some friends. it was a pretty cute photo of m in a santa hat. simple, happy and sweet. i hadn't noticed the photo during breakfast so it wasn't until i got home to see m napping on jay and jay asking "did you see it?" not sure if it is just the holiday season, our new sweet babe, or the fluctuating hormones still kicking around but i started to tear up the moment i saw it. there is just so much joy behind that face and of course behind the dad taking it.

here is a shot of what our cloud looks like after their fun time together. i mean, nine times the photo equals nine times the cuteness right? 

i think so.

hope you have a wonderful holiday season!

xo

on mamahood pt.one: three months

it's been awhile! but the little lady who has been occupying my time has been completely worth it. i am loving this mama-hood journey and happy to know it's a lifelong one at that. there are so many new and exciting (and exhausting) things that happen daily. i think we have been pretty fortunate to have a little one who adapts well to direction even at an early age. she knows once that sleep sheep goes on it's time to shut those eyes for a snooze. honestly it takes all of 3 minutes for her to know it's time to sleep. also, the ocean setting on sleep sheep is sort of where it's at, just say'n.

there have been so many changes and developments in such a short period of time that i have been thinking about starting a new blog series documenting the joys of the stage she is in. not to provide any kind of advice but just to capture the blissful parts of her babyhood so i can look back years from now and remember what it was like. not entirely sure what will happen from one day to the next so i'm sure this list will be forever changing, or have some things that stay the same, either way, i'm pretty excited about it!

so here we are, LAAV on mamahood pt. one at three months:

• her smile in the morning when she first sees one of us is my absolute favourite part of the morning.
• i forget to have a burp cloth around at least 90% of the time, thus getting puked on about 90% more.
• she is really good at spitting up on the couch so i blame these moments for why i typically don't have a burp cloth handy. though i know it's really just because i keep misplacing it.
• i thought nothing was more amazing than her smile until i heard her laugh. that is the most amazing thing. of. all. time.
• i have probably asked 30 moms about sleep training and have read a few different schools of thoughts on the subject. all of which to find a consistent routine is the key factor in all methods. go figure.
• showering has become insanely more glorious.
• our apartment seems a whole lot smaller.
• her and jay together. ugh. bliss. 

it's thanksgiving weekend here in canada and we are heading on a two hour car drive to celebrate with family...wish us luck!

i'm hoping miss m will just pass out but she has been pretty hit or miss when it comes to car rides. she hasn't quite decided what to make of them yet. it must be hard to be so little with all of these new experiences being thrown at you. but i have made sure to pack our bags with some good distracting toys, soothers (in case we drop one in the road, because that happened and wasn't too fun), and a bottle just in case we can't pull over right away.

somehow we managed to make something to bring with us too! more jay managed to make something while i sang little richard songs to mila this morning. or the parts of what little richard songs i knew. okay, it was pretty much tutti frutti on repeat. sometimes this girl gets burdened by whatever song pops in my head first, but at least we have a good time dancing around to them.

hope you have a great weekend! 

a little video

its hard to believe we have had this little girl with us for a whole month already! the time has gone by so fast and so slow at the same time given that all days seem longer when you run on three hours of sleep. as exhausted as i am this month has been the best getting to know miss mila and adapting to life as her mom.
we already can't get enough.

above is a little video of our first month with her. it sure has been wonderful, tiring, challenging, worrisome, beautiful and a bunch of other emotions all wrapped up in one. one thing is for sure, 2 a.m. is sort of my favourite time with her...weird right? i know!

m is for mila

it's a girl!

jay and i welcomed a baby girl a few weeks back and have been figuring out our new gig as parents one day at a time. each day is different so we've been getting in some pretty good lessons (and with little sleep i might add). there are days when i find it hard to believe she is really here and the wait to meet her and see her are finally over; but gosh am i over the moon to look at and hold this little one daily.

more to come on miss mila, much more to come!

xo

R, J & m

a little note to no.1

we are 5 weeks out little one, 5 weeks out! i wish i could jot down every thought i’ve had about you, about being a mom, and about all the scenes that have played out in my head. it’s a lot believe me! there are ones that are appropriate for the time like the first time i’ll hold you or read to you or stay up all night worrying if you are getting everything you need. then there are other times i think about getting to introduce you to your brother or sister (because i’m that excited for our growing family) or how i hope i can help with homework (dad may be better at this, just say’n), or when you’ll meet the person you’ll spend the rest of your life with…this is where your dad tells me to maybe slow it down and take it one step at a time. fine.

…but really in two minutes all of these thoughts stir up again! so really, i just can’t wait to see you grow before us. of course, as your mom, i want a perfect path but knowing life is rarely perfect i’ve put together a little list of things i hope you achieve, i hope you always know, and hope you never forget.  so in no particular order, here you go:

i hope….

• you have courage and use it not only for yourself, but for others as well. it’s amazing to give support to other’s especially coming from a close knit person or a complete stranger.
• you know i’ll make mistakes, and dad will make mistakes, and you will make mistakes, but we are family regardless. despite any downfalls, we stick together, stay genuine and honest, and never shut the other one out.
• you find love and cherish it. it’s a beautiful thing to nourish too so stay kind, stay strong, and stay honest with who you are.
• you find joy and beauty in achievable things first. things like the people you surround yourself with  or a sunny day over the latest technology which is bound to become archaic and disinteresting a few years later.
• you find and know happiness in yourself. there will be people or times that might break this down a bit but it’s up to you on how you want your life to play out. choose optimism first and i promise you won’t drown in pessimism. 
• you see failure as a chance to overcome and not to be defeated.
• you develop an opinion based on your own educated research and not just one other person's opinion.
• you know at least three things that you love about yourself. these don’t have to be the same three things all the time and could change over time, just keep on to three great things about your life, your direction, and your world.
• you try new things. things that make you feel fulfilled and things that break you from the norm.
• you travel and see different cultures, hear different languages and realize there are so many different people in this world but so many similarities among us all.
• you take a compliment to keep it; give a compliment and mean it.
• you stick up for the underdog and have compassion for the boss. at the end of the day we are all people who have been or will be in each other’s shoes in one way or another.
• you embarrass yourself and laugh it off. it’s liberating in its own way i promise.
• you know you can get through it by yourself, with the help of others, or through the unexpected. you can overcome obstacles in life even if there seems to be no way out, there is, just find it.
• you get back what you put in.
• you never follow the crowd unless it’s towards the only exit out of the subway. in which case, follow the crowd.
• you are fully present wherever you are or wherever you end up.
• you run after an ice cream truck and encourage other people to do it too. i don’t really know why i want this for you but i do.
• you feel like you can ask for help and encourage others to do the same. there is no way and no reason to know everything about everything, so don’t try. it takes the fun out of learning something new.

above all, know you have taught us a new type of love before we ever met you. 

we talk about and to you every single day, and honestly i can’t see that ending any time soon.

5 weeks and counting little one, 5 weeks and counting! 

xo.

a surprise baby shower

a few weeks back i was surprised with the most amazing baby shower! and on a tuesday too! i think weekday surprises are key because no one would ever expect a celebration mid-week. i knew a surprise shower was in the works because that is just how jay's family rolls, but when, where and to what caliber...clueless. 

we originally went up to jay's mom & dad's for what i thought would be a birthday celebration for jay's two sisters and our youngest niece who just turned three. was it the rented cotton candy machine upon arrival that tipped me off? nope. what about the street filled with cars. also nope. seriously i can be so dense sometimes. what did tip me off was the front door fully decked out to be what looked like a vintage circus tent (i mean floor to ceiling!), little circus flags that lined the walkway saying "baby doerksen" and "admit one", and a room full of familiar faces just staring at me until i clued in. then when i saw my mom and sister standing there smiling after just having flown in that day i just about burst! 

lucky for me jay was taking photos and video the entire time so when i got home i got to let the evening sink in. even more lucky for me are the family and friends we have that pulled this all off! from broken peanut shells on the ground, to hand decorated cookies and cake (honestly, hand done by jay's super talented sisters), the hand sewn tent fabric (by jay's super talented mom- sensing a theme here?) to my friends who avoided me all day/week and made the trip out of the city on a tuesday night via train, or video messaged in from korea, to my colorado family who travelled up that morning hauling beautiful gifts from my aunts and grandmother....seriously the above doesn't even crack the surface of how amazing this shower was.

i can't say enough how fortunate i feel to be bringing boleslaw into a mix of wonderful people like this. again, this is one lucky baby with one very grateful mama.

thanks again to all of you who came and contributed, we will never forget that night!

 

a bit of our weekend

this girl above just turned three. three! seeing as the last birthday we celebrated with this lovely little one was her first birthday, we packed up our car and took a little trip to spend the weekend to celebrate with her. jay's mom & dad travelled down for the party as well which inevitably means that we get trumped by oma & opa, which is fair, i mean grandparents are pretty much the best thing ever right? 

saturday was like looking at jay and my future in three years. nine kids plus parents equals loud room but honestly, really really fun. i had one three year old make me imaginary food for a good half hour. he even cut my imaginary food and washed the imaginary dishes! seriously he actually washed the dishes. then there was the four year old who rubbed my belly and chatted up boleslaw because she knew there was a baby in there. heart... melted.

in other parts of the weekend was my first mother's day! yay! it consisted of some good baby kicks, a  surprise gift, card and morning decaf latte run/delivery from jay, a morning at a park with family, and a traffic free drive back to toronto listening to some of my favourite past albums i haven't put on in a long time!

happy mother's day to all of you mother's out there!
if you care to see posts from viv's first birthday you can go here and here!

last november we found out that we would get to share our walls with a new little member of our family and we couldn't be more thrilled! even though it was planned, it still came as a bit of a shock. i mean…parents. we are going be parents! parents to a little face that we get to call our very own. from time to time, it just seams unreal. i keep thinking “is this actually happening? yep it’s really happening.” and to put it lightly, the last few months is just about the most blissful type of worrying i have ever done.

we won’t be finding out if it is a boy or a girl but we will be anticipating its arrival every minute of every day until august. for now, i will be dreaming of the day when i get to swaddle this little person, wipe away their tears and drool, listen to their coos, make them laugh and kiss them all over their tiny little face! poor child has no idea how many hugs and kisses are in store for it, because between both mom and dad, it’s going to be a lot!

until we meet this little face of ours, we have given it a temporary name, boleslaw, which we know is not the most flattering, but it makes us giggle every time we refer to the babe as baby boleslaw. again, poor child already.  

please feel free to send any parenting advice, toronto mom groups that you love, or great shops to buy clothes for this expanding belly! 

little one, we cannot wait to meet you! 

xo. mom & dad

monsheim :: in photos

seems i took more video in monsheim then photos, gosh. and because monsheim is pretty small, a few of these photos are of our little tour around the stuttgart area. thanks again oma, opa, elke and bernd for being the most amazing hosts and tour guides! and of course martin for serenading us so wonderfully. just like we thought, the time we spent in monsheim was one of our absolute favourites of the entire trip!

postcard from monsheim, germany

the past two days handsome and i were in the most charming town ever!  we decided to stop for a few days in monsheim to visit our new family, the hagenlochers.  out of all the cities we are seeing on our trip, this was the one city were the only plans we made were to meet ute’s family, and make spaetzle with oma.

i can’t put in words the unbelievable amount of fun we had in two short days!  we were set up in our own flat above oma and opa’s house with wine (and a lot of it!) water, juice, snacks, fresh linens and towels- everything!  the picture above was the view from our private balcony and the view we woke up to each day.   we spoke the same amount of schwabisch words as oma and opa spoke english so our conversations amounted to large hand gestures and a lot of laughing, but it was still so wonderful!  i did get to make spaetzle with oma while jay and opa drank together in the other room.  i think the only understanding between jay and opa was a nod of the head for more wine. 

when we weren’t with oma and opa we were being toured all around by our new aunt and uncle elke and bernd.  i would spend any day of the week with them- they are the best!  the last day we spent there was by far my favourite as we basically got a private tour of the ludwigsburg palace simply because were the last tour of the day, and the only people who showed for that time slot.  after touring versailles with hundreds of people you can imagine how spectacular it is to walk with just four people through the rooms of a royal palace!  at the end we decided it was no longer the ludwigsburg palace but instead the palace of elke, jay and rachel.

i don’t think any new memory we make on the trip will top our last night there- i really really don’t!  after the palace we went to dinner at a restaurant where the owner invited us back to the kitchen for fresh sausage he had made that day.  afterwards we went back to the main room with him to sing along to german songs while he played the accordion.  not sure exactly what every song was but we knew one line for sure…

überall auf der welt scheint die sonne 

…but i think this is especially true for monsheim.

a wedding for pops

last tuesday my dad got married to his charming german love, ute.

while both the big sister and i have considered ute family for some time now, it was still really special to see the two tie the knot!  we "legally" welcomed her to the family in a super intimate wedding of about sixteen people from all different parts of the world.  their beautiful costa rican wedding had representation from europe, central america, and north america {a la the big sister, handsome and myself}.

the two have lived in coast rica for a number of years and decided to get married on the anniversary of when the met- which just so happens to be in the rainy season of costa rica.  at the end of the day, the brief bit of rain right before they exchanged vows only lended itself as the clouds rolled in around the venue which was set on top of a hill overlooking san jose- it was like they got married on top of a cloud.

::le sigh::

below are a few pictures from the day

congrats again dad y ute!
.:we love you so:.