on mamahood :: month seven

over the past few months i have been slowly sinking back into the mind frame that i will be heading back to work in a few months. it's a thought that i remain fairly reserved about because i can't balance the excitement of returning and the total sadness of being away from mila. the decision to be a working mom or a stay at home mom can't be an easy decision for any woman in my books. i have always been a worker bee. i am the type of person who thrives from multiple tasks, having a full plate and contributing to a team daily. lucky for me i have a job i love going to but boy will i miss spending full days with this little girl of ours. this time has been a dream and i will forever be thankful to have the opportunity to spend a full year, undivided, with this little one. i know not every parent is so lucky to have this time, in fact i think there are a great amount who are not able to, so i remind myself often of just how lucky i am.

LAAV on mamahood at seven months

• we got accepted to daycare! hallelujah!
• i get a little finger jab or toy to the eye more often then i want to admit.
• "ah mo mo mo" "a gheeee" "ba ba ba woo"
• she continues to peacefully protest tummy time.
• she can't stand hearing yellow submarine or heartbreak hotel anymore. i don't blame her, i sang them a lot.
• we traveled with her for the first time and it made me want to do it again and again, really!
• she has been in a mommy phase for a chunk of this month and i sort of love it immensely. 
• i have stroller tans on my hands (basically my knuckles are really tan and my arms are still winter white)
• we enjoy any amount of sunshine available.
• i'm starting to worry about sun protection and mosquito bites. seriously, what gives mama worry? tips please!
• people mistake her for a boy from time to time. i still refuse to put her in super girly things.
• jay and her have a secret daddy/daughter language that i can never be apart of. it consists of a cough, a grunt or a "gheeeee"
• she has started to shake her head 'no'.
• she points at what she wants. that little finger is so cute! until it whips me in the eye.
• the thermostat and egg maracas are her new favourite things.
• tickle spots: sides, under the arm pits and above the back of her knee. 
• i have secretly (and not so secretly) cried about how much i love this little family of mine.  

on mamahood :: month six

it's funny to me how much can happen in one week yet how little can happen in one month. in short, i have succomb to knowing i can't make sense of everything in this parenting journey but at the very least i can conclude i am still loving every minute. i was really looking forward to month six because it opened an entire new chapter of fun; introducing solid foods. it also introduced an entire new obsession with researching waaaayyyy to much on how to do it. i can't stop, i just can't. we really like the idea of baby led weaning, but m wasn't so keen. at least not entirely, so we are doing a hybrid of baby led weaning and mushy foods which seems to work just fine!

LAAV on mamahood at six months:

• she rolled from back to front! twice! that's right.
• i could have babbling conversations with her forever.
• the first time she reached out for me to take her my heart imploded. 
• dad is a lot cleaner with high chair feedings then mom is. i kind of like seeing her touch and smear things even if it leads to longer clean ups.
• (she is sleeping better...shhh, don't tell anyone!)
• jay is teaching her how to wave hello and it's the cutest thing ever. 
• prunes. enough said.
• i am getting excited about heading back to work but still have that horrible 'crying face babe pressed up against the window at daycare' visual in my head.
• yellow submarine is the new heartbreak hotel getting a guaranteed smile every time.
• funny faces in the mirror is our daily obsession. 
• i can't wait for sun because this snowsuit business is getting really old.
• she loves watching me brush my teeth, but i can't sing and can't talk when doing it, i can only brush.
• subway travel with a stroller is impossible in toronto. we need more elevators or at least escalators that go both up and down.
• it doesn't hit me how big she really has gotten until jay and i are scrolling through photos from a few months ago.
• our house feels especially small now.

on mamahood :: month five

this post is coming a bit late as we are well in to our six month, but lucky for me, the list below gradually builds throughout the month i recap. so late to post, but not late enough to remember. phewf.

the time seems to be passing so quickly now. i remember in the first few months it just slugged on but i think it was because i was looking towards certain milestones as exciting markers to experience. i couldn't wait until she was able to roll over or sit up or have babbling conversations with me. I couldn't wait until she would smile and laugh at us, or we could begin to tell who this little lady was starting to become. now i find myself just living in the moment with her and celebrating the time we have together. she is growing so fast! i swear every morning i feel like she has woken up a little different then the day before. you'll see it finally hit me that i will be returning to work at the end of summer. it's such a bittersweet feeling and one i don't like to think about often, you'll see why below.

LAAV on mamahood at five months:

• she refuses to roll over.
• we are finally up to longer naps! full night sleeps are still a challenge but we'll take what we can get.
• daddy/daughter dance parties to the beatles radio station is my favourite weekend activity.
• singing elvis to her gets a guaranteed smile. every. single. time. specifically heartbreak hotel.
• our lives have become musicals. we sing about everything we are doing. mainly to the tune of heartbreak hotel for obvious reasons.
• bruce has dominated 'favourite thing' in our house. she smiles and chats with him and tries to grab his tail at every chance she gets.
• i am incredibly thankful to know other moms. especially ones that get you out of the house to the aquarium on polar vortex days.
• she can sit unsupported for a second or two, yay!
• effing nail clippers. i have nightmares about them but am committed to overcoming my fear at this point.
• i had my first tear about returning back to work which was followed by a looming vision of baby m's face pressed against the daycare glass screaming while my heart breaks walking away. that i'm sure will be a public cry fest day.

On mamahood :: month four

here we are, month four! this little lady is figuring out more and more each day and it's been pretty fun to watch her piece it all together. she is fully refusing sleep at all costs now. naps, bedtime...it doesn't matter. what happened to that awesome sleeper of ours?! no seriously what happened because the nine hour uninterrupted stretch was amazing. someone please tell me good sleep comes back. it does right? good.

 LAAV on mamahood pt. two at four months:

• she rolled over! 
• i've made myself sick and lightheaded doing stupid things to get her to laugh. even if it's just a giggle.
• jay makes her laugh way more then I can. 
• her hair is growing in except for that one bald spot on the back. that seems to be losing more hair. 
• just when i think i have this parenting thing figured out,  i'm reminded i so totally do not. 
• i love how everything is so new and exciting to her. 
• those dreaded baby nail clippers...terrifying.  
• not sure if she thinks we have two cats or just one super mysterious one. 
• my arms are sore from lifting her up to see the the bins at the top of the refrigerator but her smile when i do it is so worth it. 
• we can't wait to start traveling with her. can't wait!

that time she had really blonde hair, he rarely cut his hair and they both lived in L.A.

jay and i got m down with no fuss (no fuss!) the other night and took the free time to go through our photos from europe. we have been meaning to print some off for awhile now to hang in some gallery frames jay got me for our anniversary. right before we shut the computer down for the night we ended up finding a folder full of photos from the years we lived in los angeles. we met there so the city holds a special place in my heart. not to mention we have some really dear friends who still live there.

these photos brought back so many wonderful memories and made me miss our times together back then. though, i wouldn't trade what we have at this moment for the world, it's sweet to look back and remember what brought us to where we are. i will admit i desperately miss my ability to tan as well as i used to. but apparently my love for old man caps remains the same and i'm pretty happy about that.

{2006: new years eve at 26 beach restaurant in venice. i used to work there too!}

{2005: santa ynez wine country with the bestie and big sister. some photos from this trip may never be seen again}

{2005: ice skating in downtown. hence the short sleeves but i really tried to get the look with the scarf, can't you tell?}

{not sure the date here, i think 2004, but this is the cafe where we met! it's moved since but still around if you ever want to go. the talking stick, started by our friends rich and sheri. rich ended up marrying us and sheri was one of my bridesmaids}

{2005: at a petting zoo in a pumpkin patch. you can't see it but i am rocking a wool vest along with that cap and hideous bag}

 { 2005: the fourth of july fireworks with friends on the field of my college in santa monica. also one of my most favourite photos of us}

family

last weekend a friend of ours, teddy chau came over and took a few shots of our little family. we are in love with all of the photos he took and happy mila complied with wearing a dress for as long as she did. if you look closely you will see layer by layer, some article of clothing came off. by the end, she was in a diaper and onesie.

thank you teddy so very much for these, we will treasure these forever!

on mamahood pt.one: three months

it's been awhile! but the little lady who has been occupying my time has been completely worth it. i am loving this mama-hood journey and happy to know it's a lifelong one at that. there are so many new and exciting (and exhausting) things that happen daily. i think we have been pretty fortunate to have a little one who adapts well to direction even at an early age. she knows once that sleep sheep goes on it's time to shut those eyes for a snooze. honestly it takes all of 3 minutes for her to know it's time to sleep. also, the ocean setting on sleep sheep is sort of where it's at, just say'n.

there have been so many changes and developments in such a short period of time that i have been thinking about starting a new blog series documenting the joys of the stage she is in. not to provide any kind of advice but just to capture the blissful parts of her babyhood so i can look back years from now and remember what it was like. not entirely sure what will happen from one day to the next so i'm sure this list will be forever changing, or have some things that stay the same, either way, i'm pretty excited about it!

so here we are, LAAV on mamahood pt. one at three months:

• her smile in the morning when she first sees one of us is my absolute favourite part of the morning.
• i forget to have a burp cloth around at least 90% of the time, thus getting puked on about 90% more.
• she is really good at spitting up on the couch so i blame these moments for why i typically don't have a burp cloth handy. though i know it's really just because i keep misplacing it.
• i thought nothing was more amazing than her smile until i heard her laugh. that is the most amazing thing. of. all. time.
• i have probably asked 30 moms about sleep training and have read a few different schools of thoughts on the subject. all of which to find a consistent routine is the key factor in all methods. go figure.
• showering has become insanely more glorious.
• our apartment seems a whole lot smaller.
• her and jay together. ugh. bliss. 

m is for mila

it's a girl!

jay and i welcomed a baby girl a few weeks back and have been figuring out our new gig as parents one day at a time. each day is different so we've been getting in some pretty good lessons (and with little sleep i might add). there are days when i find it hard to believe she is really here and the wait to meet her and see her are finally over; but gosh am i over the moon to look at and hold this little one daily.

more to come on miss mila, much more to come!

xo

R, J & m

a little note to no.1

we are 5 weeks out little one, 5 weeks out! i wish i could jot down every thought i’ve had about you, about being a mom, and about all the scenes that have played out in my head. it’s a lot believe me! there are ones that are appropriate for the time like the first time i’ll hold you or read to you or stay up all night worrying if you are getting everything you need. then there are other times i think about getting to introduce you to your brother or sister (because i’m that excited for our growing family) or how i hope i can help with homework (dad may be better at this, just say’n), or when you’ll meet the person you’ll spend the rest of your life with…this is where your dad tells me to maybe slow it down and take it one step at a time. fine.

…but really in two minutes all of these thoughts stir up again! so really, i just can’t wait to see you grow before us. of course, as your mom, i want a perfect path but knowing life is rarely perfect i’ve put together a little list of things i hope you achieve, i hope you always know, and hope you never forget.  so in no particular order, here you go:

i hope….

• you have courage and use it not only for yourself, but for others as well. it’s amazing to give support to other’s especially coming from a close knit person or a complete stranger.
• you know i’ll make mistakes, and dad will make mistakes, and you will make mistakes, but we are family regardless. despite any downfalls, we stick together, stay genuine and honest, and never shut the other one out.
• you find love and cherish it. it’s a beautiful thing to nourish too so stay kind, stay strong, and stay honest with who you are.
• you find joy and beauty in achievable things first. things like the people you surround yourself with  or a sunny day over the latest technology which is bound to become archaic and disinteresting a few years later.
• you find and know happiness in yourself. there will be people or times that might break this down a bit but it’s up to you on how you want your life to play out. choose optimism first and i promise you won’t drown in pessimism. 
• you see failure as a chance to overcome and not to be defeated.
• you develop an opinion based on your own educated research and not just one other person's opinion.
• you know at least three things that you love about yourself. these don’t have to be the same three things all the time and could change over time, just keep on to three great things about your life, your direction, and your world.
• you try new things. things that make you feel fulfilled and things that break you from the norm.
• you travel and see different cultures, hear different languages and realize there are so many different people in this world but so many similarities among us all.
• you take a compliment to keep it; give a compliment and mean it.
• you stick up for the underdog and have compassion for the boss. at the end of the day we are all people who have been or will be in each other’s shoes in one way or another.
• you embarrass yourself and laugh it off. it’s liberating in its own way i promise.
• you know you can get through it by yourself, with the help of others, or through the unexpected. you can overcome obstacles in life even if there seems to be no way out, there is, just find it.
• you get back what you put in.
• you never follow the crowd unless it’s towards the only exit out of the subway. in which case, follow the crowd.
• you are fully present wherever you are or wherever you end up.
• you run after an ice cream truck and encourage other people to do it too. i don’t really know why i want this for you but i do.
• you feel like you can ask for help and encourage others to do the same. there is no way and no reason to know everything about everything, so don’t try. it takes the fun out of learning something new.

above all, know you have taught us a new type of love before we ever met you. 

we talk about and to you every single day, and honestly i can’t see that ending any time soon.

5 weeks and counting little one, 5 weeks and counting! 

xo.

european getaway :: in video

last fall jay and i jetted out for a three week european getaway and had our hearts pretty much stolen away by the beautiful sites, wonderful people, unbelievable history and super amazing food. in france we only made it to paris but we did get to travel about through a few cities in germany and italy. and while at the end of our trip i was pretty happy to get home to sleep in my own bed, i can for sure say that i am ready to pack my bags right now and get on the next plane to any one of those places. especially italy! and germany! and paris! i miss you all so.

here is a little video of some of the sites jay and i got to see but best of all, these are a bunch of clips of 3 weeks spent laughing, exploring, dining, dancing and memory making with my favourtie person ever.

if you care to see any photo posts there are links below!

paris :: here & here

monshiem :: here & here

munich :: here & here

venice :: here & here

cinque terre :: here & here

florence :: here & here

rome :: here & here

xo happy valentine's day xo

this is easily one of the cutest videos i have ever seen! 

thanks to my friend noor for sending it my way!

xo.

last november we found out that we would get to share our walls with a new little member of our family and we couldn't be more thrilled! even though it was planned, it still came as a bit of a shock. i mean…parents. we are going be parents! parents to a little face that we get to call our very own. from time to time, it just seams unreal. i keep thinking “is this actually happening? yep it’s really happening.” and to put it lightly, the last few months is just about the most blissful type of worrying i have ever done.

we won’t be finding out if it is a boy or a girl but we will be anticipating its arrival every minute of every day until august. for now, i will be dreaming of the day when i get to swaddle this little person, wipe away their tears and drool, listen to their coos, make them laugh and kiss them all over their tiny little face! poor child has no idea how many hugs and kisses are in store for it, because between both mom and dad, it’s going to be a lot!

until we meet this little face of ours, we have given it a temporary name, boleslaw, which we know is not the most flattering, but it makes us giggle every time we refer to the babe as baby boleslaw. again, poor child already.  

please feel free to send any parenting advice, toronto mom groups that you love, or great shops to buy clothes for this expanding belly! 

little one, we cannot wait to meet you! 

xo. mom & dad

a wedding for pops

last tuesday my dad got married to his charming german love, ute.

while both the big sister and i have considered ute family for some time now, it was still really special to see the two tie the knot!  we "legally" welcomed her to the family in a super intimate wedding of about sixteen people from all different parts of the world.  their beautiful costa rican wedding had representation from europe, central america, and north america {a la the big sister, handsome and myself}.

the two have lived in coast rica for a number of years and decided to get married on the anniversary of when the met- which just so happens to be in the rainy season of costa rica.  at the end of the day, the brief bit of rain right before they exchanged vows only lended itself as the clouds rolled in around the venue which was set on top of a hill overlooking san jose- it was like they got married on top of a cloud.

::le sigh::

below are a few pictures from the day

congrats again dad y ute!
.:we love you so:.

nine years ago today...

i snuck onto a helicopter pad with this handsome face at the getty museum in los angeles and lengthily discussed how we would make a relationship work with him in canada and me in LA.  we spent eight hours at the museum that day nervous to hold hands but standing side by side the entire time.  while i don't really remember the exhibits too well, i'll never forget the cloud nine feeling i had all day.

happy dating anniversary handsome man.  i'm happy this day means as much to you as it does to me. 

xoxo 

a street for him + me

last week jay and i were walking home when we spotted a prime opportunity to make our street ours forever!

with a fresh patch of wet cement, a stick, and a few quick seconds before the construction workers knew what we were doing, we dedicated a corner of a sidewalk to us.  happy to say, the construction workers never caught on and him & i have an official branded part of our street from now until forever!

...or at least until they decide to redo the sidewalks again.

jay's jeans

reason #927 why i love my husband?  he doesn't care if i borrow his clothes.

i have always had an affinity for men's clothing on women and an affinity for the women who pull it off effortlessly.  now that the days of living with the big sister and best friends have come and gone, i don't have the girly closets to raid anymore - which is fine because i have already spotted out a few key pieces from jay's wardrobe that will make do; like his jeans. 

reliving immigration

recently i applied for my canadian citizenship which meant pulling out all of my permanent residency info for reference.  it was crazy to relive all the paperwork we had to fill out, the "are we doing this right?" questions, the long waiting period and "when can we see each other next?"  top that off with us planning a wedding and i feel like that entire year was spent signing our names on the dotted line.

seeing all of this again made me so happy about my decision to move.  initially  the move wasn't so easy as i only had jay to rely on- which wasn't fair to him but he handled it so well!  i can still feel that angst of feeling like i was in limbo where i spent an entire year just waiting...waiting for a tiny piece of paper that would give us the legal go ahead to physically begin our lives together.  i still remember crying so many tears of relief when i finally got my visa. that year was the ultimate year of change.  even through rough times of that year and the rough times when i first moved to toronto, i wouldn't change a thing. this is still exactly where i would want to be.

here are a few photos and notes i found while sifting through it all

wish me luck on a speedy citizenship process!

on sunday, we built a fort...

and that is what it looks like {because it's still up}

.     .     .

love

i recently discovered this photographer, lauren fleishman through another one of my favorite bloggers, naomi davis, and had to share!

i do not personally know lauren fleishman, but i love this project she is creating.  its called love ever after and it is a book of couples in the new york area married over 50 years who she photographed and interviewed.  it's her way of preserving these couples love stories for eternity and "illuminate our universal experience of love", which i completely agree with and adore.

if you want to know more about the project or make a pledge you can do so through her kick starter site.  below is a sweet video she put together that will for sure make your heart flutter.  my favorite part is when the husband tries to spell his wife's name....and then gets corrected to "leave off the accent".  adorable!

:::

love

i recently saw this image from jamie beck, posted by one of my favorite bloggers bluebird vintage

the image takes my breath away and makes me want to get lost in a slow dance forever. it is simply stunning!

after seeing this image, i googled jamie beck 

lets just say, i am in love...