this week.

this week was looong, and selfishly, draining as all get out. but in retrospect given everything that seems to be negatively happening in parts of the world, selfish is exactly how i felt at the end of the week. especially tonight as i just got a fulsome low down of current events from my brother-in-law and his girlfriend at dinner. some events i knew, others not so well, and some not at all.

personally, there have been parts of this week that i wish i could have run away from, or at the very least erased. there are for sure parts that got the better of me and other parts that i probably could have dealt with better, but for whatever reason didn’t. i’ll admit i haven’t been able to follow current events as much as i would have liked which after hearing everything that happened made me feel even worse. at one point i couldn’t even find a positive spin or input on anything that was said so i just sat there and listened, blank faced, dumbfounded and shocked by all of the intentional and unfortunate happenings.

but maybe positive spins isn’t what is needed right now. maybe it’s not thoughts of how to better right now, maybe it’s to sit for a bit and take it in. to familiarize ourselves with everything that has happened, things that happened in the moment and things that never seem to end, the people suffering and the people scared, lost and confused. maybe it’s to be friends with one another regardless of our differences, regardless of where we are from or how we were raised. maybe we shouldn’t be thankful for the sunshine and warm weather right now but be thankful just to stand next to another person. be thankful life even exists. and then remember what we contribute, whether small or large on a daily basis.

for now, i am going to soak in some of my favourite time with jay, with this growing belly, and our home. i’m going to find time to catch up on all current news and remind myself a long hard week is not something to be affected by, but instead something to reshape. hopefully, always for the better.