on mamahood :: month seven

over the past few months i have been slowly sinking back into the mind frame that i will be heading back to work in a few months. it's a thought that i remain fairly reserved about because i can't balance the excitement of returning and the total sadness of being away from mila. the decision to be a working mom or a stay at home mom can't be an easy decision for any woman in my books. i have always been a worker bee. i am the type of person who thrives from multiple tasks, having a full plate and contributing to a team daily. lucky for me i have a job i love going to but boy will i miss spending full days with this little girl of ours. this time has been a dream and i will forever be thankful to have the opportunity to spend a full year, undivided, with this little one. i know not every parent is so lucky to have this time, in fact i think there are a great amount who are not able to, so i remind myself often of just how lucky i am.

LAAV on mamahood at seven months

• we got accepted to daycare! hallelujah!
• i get a little finger jab or toy to the eye more often then i want to admit.
• "ah mo mo mo" "a gheeee" "ba ba ba woo"
• she continues to peacefully protest tummy time.
• she can't stand hearing yellow submarine or heartbreak hotel anymore. i don't blame her, i sang them a lot.
• we traveled with her for the first time and it made me want to do it again and again, really!
• she has been in a mommy phase for a chunk of this month and i sort of love it immensely. 
• i have stroller tans on my hands (basically my knuckles are really tan and my arms are still winter white)
• we enjoy any amount of sunshine available.
• i'm starting to worry about sun protection and mosquito bites. seriously, what gives mama worry? tips please!
• people mistake her for a boy from time to time. i still refuse to put her in super girly things.
• jay and her have a secret daddy/daughter language that i can never be apart of. it consists of a cough, a grunt or a "gheeeee"
• she has started to shake her head 'no'.
• she points at what she wants. that little finger is so cute! until it whips me in the eye.
• the thermostat and egg maracas are her new favourite things.
• tickle spots: sides, under the arm pits and above the back of her knee. 
• i have secretly (and not so secretly) cried about how much i love this little family of mine.  

YYZ >> DEN >> LAX >> YYZ

last week i turned thirty. it's a big deal that age. i had planned on writing a somewhat prolific post on how i felt going into this new decade of life....but then jay surprised me with a trip to los angeles after our already existing trip to denver. so, um, i was too excited to sit and really take in what thirty actually meant to me. i mean, friends. sun. beach. cheap wine. sun. sun. sun. there was too much to look forward to to do any inner thinking.

we started our trip in denver to celebrate a new little niece of ours expected in may. (read: yay babies!) lindsay's friend and i hosted a 'sugar & spice' themed baby shower for my sister complete with sugar, more sugar a little spice and some sugar. a super big thanks to our families for helping out, we couldn't have done it without you guys! and to my mom for snapping some photos for me. oh, and to my big sister who greeted us at the airport like this:

two snippets from the shower:

the four generation photo above is my absolute favourite. i am super blessed to have the family i do but my grandma has always meant the world to me. she is one spectacular women. i hope i can achieve her sort of intelligence and kindness one day. in my books, she is one of a kind.

we got to L.A. on monday and after a little issue with our hotel, we ended up staying at our friend's place in venice. he was super kind enough to relocate and give us his entire apartment which is a few steps from the boardwalk. my best friend cleared her entire schedule to hang with us which meant the world. there is never enough time to properly spend with darby so any second is pretty must the best. 

friends of ours who moved to calgary a few years back postponed their return home to have a little surprise birthday dinner for me. it was amazing how comfortable it felt to be back with everyone, almost like we had never left. at the same time, and for the first time, i had this moment of peace realizing L.A. isn't home anymore. there has always been a piece of me that hung on to our memories of living there, thinking perhaps one day we would move back. but our lives are set up in toronto now. not to say we wouldn't consider and scenery change at some point, but after driving back in to the city after our week of travel, the toronto skyline and city lights made me feel so at home. it was exactly what i need after such an amazing time with so many people i love.