ONE!!!

we are counting years instead of months now and every day i wish i could just slow down all the time we have with her. like how is she one guys? i still remember so clearly when we were driving to the hospital in the weeeeeeee hours of the morning and i kept telling myself not to get my hopes up because the nurses where probably going to send us home. and then when we got admitted i asked the nurse about a thousand times if she was really sure our baby was coming that day because i was beyond myself with excitement and i couldn't bare the thought of not meeting her that day. then that first announcement when we knew our mila was here; that first time i held her and never wanted to let her go; that time a high strung nurse chased jay down the hall because he wanted to show her off to his folks; that time the night nurse sang to her and rocked her forever so i could eat; those first few days when i when i was overwhelmed with love and terror; those nights i stayed up reading and reading and reading because i was sure i would eff something up; those nights i made myself not read for fear of being paranoid; those walks where i took her in her sling, just the two of us with her fast asleep and me afraid of walking too far away in case she woke up and started crying; those times i felt like i had everything under control and then realized i actually didn't; and that time i finally realized control just had a different definition now.

from day one ms. mila, you stole our hearts. but from that day we first met you, you melted us completely. we often reflect back on the day we found out we had a daughter and the first few weeks we tried to figure it all out. i can't begin to express what an honor it is to be your mama and to watch you grow daily. you are the biggest blessing we have ever known and it's hard to imagine the days before you were here, because it feels like you have always been here, right with us. 

your smile. ugh! your smile. i would try every trick in the book to make you smile kiddo- lucky for me, you kind of smile a lot. really, it's not that hard to make you happy. you are the most beautiful, genuine little creature and we seriously can't get enough of you. to our baby girl, we love you a million times over.

xo.

on mamahood :: month 11

this is it! the conclusion of the mamahood series. we officially have a toddler in our house and i have been back to work for two weeks now. this past year just flew by and i terribly miss my full days at home with her every single day. i even have this crazy amount of anxiety for every minute that stalls me from getting to her after 5pm. seriously guys, it's something i'm really trying to control. you have no idea how many times i've dreamed of having a go go gadget car after work. i plan to do a post on her first birthday in a bit so i'll save the sap for that (because there is a lot!) but for any new parent about to start their journey with a babe, or for any parent currently in the throws of the first year i leave you with this: document as much as you can. when you can. every parent young and old told us it goes by so fast and in just one short year, i fully agree. 

LAAV on mamahood, month 11:

• tooth count: six
• she said "dadda"!!!! (and can't stop)
• she stands on her own for a few seconds
• if there is a snuggle to steal i'll do it
• she finally took to formula after jay tricked her by putting strawberries in her sippy nozzle- i couldn't be more grateful it worked and more bummed i didn't think of it first. 
• she still hates grass
• i felt so confident about her going to daycare and me going to work until one afternoon i just started crying making her a peanut butter sandwich. jay had to take over lunch at that point. 
• i cried a few times after that peanut butter moment too
• she plays "sleeps" anywhere, anytime. just ask her to play sleep and she'll tuck her hands under her belly and lay down stiff as a board
• book winners of the month: hand, hand, fingers, thumb, the going to sleep book,christmas touch and feel book, and goodnight colorado
• she loves pulling all my makeup out of my makeup bag
• baths are her favourite thing (thanks to everyone for the tips on washing her hair without getting water on her face!)
• when she first wakes up in the morning, she'll hand me her teddy bear right away. i hug it and give it back to her.
• at nap time i ask if she wants to take a snooze and she'll nod her head yes
• it hit me while clothes shopping for her that at 1 year she is no longer a baby, she is a toddler (i may have cried here too)
• she likes to do walking laps around her crib before falling asleep
• she practices standing on anything she can simultaneously stopping my heart every time she does
• the only kisses she gives out are to herself in the mirror

and fin!

hope you had as much fun reading as i did sharing. 

for the full mamahood series click here!